So, I started the following blog (it's in bold, didn't get too far) waaaay back in September '08 and never got around to finishing my thoughts on this. I don't remember what the moral of it was supposed to be, but I can think of one now. But, SO much has happened since then. I have changed, evolved, and learned so much about myself and about other people...
I once told this really cute guy at a party that I liked Jack Johnson because he was talking about his music and how great it is. However, I only knew of a few Jack Johnson songs at the time...
Bold. Really bold move, eh? No, no. Actually quite weak, pretty spineless. I have always been kind of spineless. Afraid of conflict and offending other people, always trying to please others so they don't think negatively of me. I just realized i'm a people pleaser... in fact, I researched traits of people pleasers---part of the problem is that I never really considered the concept of what a people pleaser really is...
-I habitually give in to others because I can't stand the thought of upsetting them.
-I put my needs aside because I get a "buzz" from other people's happiness, even when they are not grateful or even realize the lengths I have gone to to make them happy. (from WikiHow.com)
That is a classic pushover/tool/gutless/spineless individual.
My conversation with that cute guy may have ended if I told him I wasn't familiar with Jack Johnson. But, what if I just said, "Not that into Jack, but how about Sublime?" or "You should burn me his CD, I'd like to listen to more of his music."??? That might have made for better conversation (and maybe a phone number) instead of me just saying, "yeah I love Jack Johnson he's great... uh... yeah," and then running off ashamed and avoiding further conversation about an artist I don't know much about.
Well, it has been about 3 years since that embarrassing moment... I am now a HUGE fan of Jack Johnson (honestly, I am, ask me about his music... you bet I'll know the answer)... and I'm still working on growing a spine.
But what do you do when you truly enjoy and WANT to help/please others, and not just because we feel we should? This is a tough one... hopefully I'll figure it out soon. And when I do, I'll blog it out.
I once told this really cute guy at a party that I liked Jack Johnson because he was talking about his music and how great it is. However, I only knew of a few Jack Johnson songs at the time...
Bold. Really bold move, eh? No, no. Actually quite weak, pretty spineless. I have always been kind of spineless. Afraid of conflict and offending other people, always trying to please others so they don't think negatively of me. I just realized i'm a people pleaser... in fact, I researched traits of people pleasers---part of the problem is that I never really considered the concept of what a people pleaser really is...
-I habitually give in to others because I can't stand the thought of upsetting them.
-I put my needs aside because I get a "buzz" from other people's happiness, even when they are not grateful or even realize the lengths I have gone to to make them happy. (from WikiHow.com)
That is a classic pushover/tool/gutless/spineless individual.
My conversation with that cute guy may have ended if I told him I wasn't familiar with Jack Johnson. But, what if I just said, "Not that into Jack, but how about Sublime?" or "You should burn me his CD, I'd like to listen to more of his music."??? That might have made for better conversation (and maybe a phone number) instead of me just saying, "yeah I love Jack Johnson he's great... uh... yeah," and then running off ashamed and avoiding further conversation about an artist I don't know much about.
Well, it has been about 3 years since that embarrassing moment... I am now a HUGE fan of Jack Johnson (honestly, I am, ask me about his music... you bet I'll know the answer)... and I'm still working on growing a spine.
But what do you do when you truly enjoy and WANT to help/please others, and not just because we feel we should? This is a tough one... hopefully I'll figure it out soon. And when I do, I'll blog it out.
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